In the comfort of my dreams it is as though I can reach up and touch your face.
Even though I cannot see You, I can feel your presence right next to me.
Why do my mind play such tricks on me… why show me something that I cannot have?
Wouldn’t I be better off remaining blind and deaf until this body is lying in a grave?
If knowing You is impossible, why come close to me making me feel You are there? Wouldn’t it be better for me that I not wish for things so Holy… so Almighty?
Why show me the moon and the stars if they were not intended for me?
Am I to just gaze at them in amazement never to touch, to feel, or to know them?
You are out there gleaming but I can only wonder and dream of You.
The moment I awaken back in this mind/body, Your presence fades away.
Will I ever awaken and be in Your presence without the fear of loosing You?
This mortal body that imprisons me keeps me trapped away from my true home.
Why my Dear Lord did you send me to this God-forsaken, troubled land?
I have already been sucked into its’ dungeon filled of all sorts of vipers of evil.
Is this but a test to see if I am truly worthy of a room in my Father’s mansion?
I’m not sure how much longer I can survive in this place without losing my soul.
If I were asked I would answer truthfully, ‘even though I tried my best, I failed You.’
Can any mortal man sustain the test of living in flesh among the temptations of Satan?
I am told that there was One who lived down her and was tempted but did not fail.
He was Your only Begotten Son, the One through which all things were made.
Even on the bottom of His sandals where He walked on the ground… I am unworthy.
I have no excuse for my lack of faith, my unfaithfulness, and my weakness to sin.
Father, I beg you for your tender mercy, please forgive me for letting you down.
When it is all said and done, why was I placed in a place where You knew we would fail?
Where are you Oh Lord… Where are You… Why have you forsaken me dear Lord?
LIKE SO MANY THAT CAME BEFORE YOU
EACH SOUL HAS TO EXPERIENCE THEIR HELL ON EARTH
YOU CAN’T FULLY LOVE HEAVEN IF THERE WERE NO HELL BELOW.
I AM… I AM HERE BESIDE YOU, AND IN YOU, YOU ARE NOT FORSAKEN!