Speaking about the Spirit is not something that I have expert knowledge. I am instead only one of the many pots that the Potter made. God made each of us quite uniquely. My personal relationship with the Spirit can be at times delightful or painful. This is because God is a fixture and I tend to move around. Most of this is due to my lack of knowledge. However lately I am not afraid to humble myself because I know that God is Supreme. I know that I am so low beneath anything even decent, forget about being righteous or holy… those are standards that I can’t reach by my own will power. But still in realizing my shortfalls it makes me want to learn more… to study more… and to somehow become more faithful to my Maker. That is where the Spirit of God comes into play. When I am able to calm down this logical mind and make it submissive to the Spirit, my life is much more manageable. “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2Corinthians 12:10
As I look back over my life I can see all the work that God has done in me in spite of my unrighteous behaviors. I am also stubborn and tend to chase down things that I cannot figure out. Now that I am older and a bit wiser I no longer need to figure out the universe or how God did all the wondrous things that He did… and is still doing. I have learned that God’s ways and thoughts are so much higher than my carnal mind will ever figure out. So trying to do something that is impossible to do is just folly! “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9
My mind was not made to comprehend the full knowledge of God. Though the mind is a wonderful tool for us to use it has strict limitations. On the other hand God is unlimited, all knowledgeable and all-powerful. So instead of trying to get into God’s lane… now I am more content in knowing that through having a relationship with the most powerful and knowledgeable Source in the universe, my reliance is more upon Him and not upon my limited mortal mind. “My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and my horn of salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior” 2 Samuel 22:2
This attraction to learn more about God has been drawing me to the point that some days it feels that I am in the direct presence of the Spirit and other times I can’t sense His presence at all. Even to this day I can’t figure out the ebbs and flow of how God deals with me. I feel Him close and then I don’t. The void make me try to figure out why He pulled away. Certainly it was not God who moved but my inability to stay close to Him. Like a child that keeps me reaching. It is only when we thirst or that we are hungry when we tend to do what is necessary to fulfill those cravings. My lack makes me want more so that it is probably how God keep us close to Him.
Currently I have more time to study, meditate and otherwise spend quiet time with the Spirit. I love my early morning walks looking up into the dark starlit skies and speaking openly to God. I even love it when I sat at my computer trying to write a message such as this that is Spirit-driven. Since it is my desire to know God better apparently that is what opens the doors and bring His presence near. At one point in life one would assume that wisdom should be more evident. “Blessed are those who find wisdom, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.” Proverbs 3:13-14
At this mature age it is time to expect wisdom to be in full display. I delight in the time spent trying to receive what God is revealing. It might be in writing a spiritual message; at time the thought to help someone; or at other times God wants me to be still and recognize the works of His hands. I can be more at peace letting God be God and me doing whatever small part He wants to do through me. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
I am finally learning how to pray more efficiently. It took me a while to realize that God already know everything about me so why spend time asking God what He already knows. Instead I am learning to just praise God and ask Him to cover me and those I love by His divine will. I also pray for this God-forsaken world we live in. I am not as optimistic about things as I once was because of the image the world is revealing. But I know that it is not on me to fix the world but lean upon what I know God to be doing. “Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.” Proverbs 3:25-26
Looking at our world today it appears that God may have abandoned this place. I know that is not the case but in this world it appears that the enemy is more in charge. Even though God is still superior and only allows the enemy’s leash to be drawn out so far, God decides how far He will allow. Yes, evil demons do have more power over us here. So many people are totally oblivious of this fact so they know not to take proper precautions. That is why I pray for the world. “And lead us not into temptations, but deliver us from the evil one.” Matthew 6:13: A verse of the Lord’s Prayer.
So as you read this essay, this is a written testimony of sorts. I share my thoughts, doubts and fears here because seekers experience such as they attempt to draw near to the Lord. If admitting my weakness helps others then just know that when we are weak… we know that is when God’s strength is revealed. But our weakness is not submission to this world, but instead to the Creator of the world. “My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and my horn of salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior” 2 Samuel 22:2
The Spirit of God is near… seek Him while He can be found… Selah!